a life of juxtaposition

i have this hanging in the coffeeshop at vintage for the advent conspiracy art show. all i could find was my rough draft so i tried to remember how the finished product went. i think it is close to what i have below.

what new sensation is this? what little can i give that would incur something so great? what tiny thought? what infinitesimal gift? if these hands unclenched their fists and stretched from my body would they reach your lips or would they stretch to your soul? would they belittle your condition or illuminate your sallow cheeks? what is this ocean that rages within me? for too long, i have fought back these waves. i have wrestled posiedon and when weary, my hip out of joint, i have turned to face neptune himself.

how i long to see a different day. a day that holds new burning horizons, a day where fresh blood flows in reconstructed hearts, a day unlike the one that stares at my sallow cheeks. am i the one to give or is it you, after all? i give what pleases my conscience and you give what you are.

but i have come to see that this storm will continue to rage and it is only how i will face it, it is only how i view this cold despondent world that will shape how i respond. this vignette is not a new day but rather the opening of an ancient door to reveal a day that has been here from the start. only these wrinkled eyes have been closed for too long. but with mud and spit they have been opened to see this painting anew.

i will dive deep into the black ink and not surface until this rusted anchor has been firmly planted in a new Foundation. no longer with white knuckles barnacled to the wheel will i battle this storm. i will man the rafts and set out to give what i can: namely myself.

and so, what new sensation is this?

posted by jon havens