before i finish my short story, here's a song...
beauty was found in a garden before decay
ate the roots of trees and men
so the earth groans as it awaits its redemption
and so do we
but in another garden the owner of a decayed tree appeared
darkness fled from light
and truth conquered lies
the forgotten smile laughed as the stones shouted
so raise up a wall of living stones that sing
wash the hate in hope and love that blinds the eyes
the forgotten smiles will laugh as these stones sing
if ancient saints spoke in gusty buildings with windows to wanderers
so these stones shall sing of a new day;
how his favor is upon us
may the fragrance of life pour from us to give light to paths of despair
set the captives free, bind up the broken-hearted
the forgotten smile will cry as these stones sing
and just because this quote has haunted me recently...
"adams ghost walks through hiroshima's ruins
giving apples to the dying, begging their forgiveness"
-calvin miller
posted by jon havens
Monday, October 23, 2006
Thursday, October 19, 2006
"the caves" part one
i am nothing more than the dirt i produce. was this calling heavy too bear or do i just prefer the caves? i must confess, the caves are comfortable.
my purpose in guarding the caves was an idea that consumed every fiber of my being. my call was to "maintain and protect." i believed that nothing good lay within that lair of susceptibility. it was my self-administered burden to carry the torch of proclamation against the lure of nothing.
but as people approached, my warnings became but a voice of judgment rather than concern. every craving vagabond that came near had that same desire in their black eyes. like blood-thirsty zombies they would pass as if i were nothing but a mist in the air: the cry heard and the next, silence. nobody would heed my warning. was my desire not as strong as theirs? whatever it was, my voice became nothing but a voice in the desert.
i would stand outside the mouth of the cave, my shadow long and high upon the rock behind me. the sun beat down upon my brow. beads of sweat slid off my face onto the cracked floor and as the sun rose higher my shadow grew longer and my voice resembled the ground upon which i stood. my legs began to grow weary day after day. i found myself no longer standing but resting nearby upon a stump cut off from its family. the days grew strange.
sometimes i would venture into the cave a few feet, lying to myself thinking that i had heard someone speak. but there was no one. they were deep inside. it was the darkness that drew me. the relief from the sun. on the outside i have always declared my allegiance to keep the caves empty. but within my declaration lay my true sense of intrigue and desire. i could not take it much longer.
there is an ancient myth that says that deep within the caves lies a danger that will tear you to pieces. this myth is given not only to invoke fear but a sense of reason within people. but i have never really found reason worth reasoning with. so one day, i lay my torch upon the weathered ground and head deep within the caves.
posted by jon havens
my purpose in guarding the caves was an idea that consumed every fiber of my being. my call was to "maintain and protect." i believed that nothing good lay within that lair of susceptibility. it was my self-administered burden to carry the torch of proclamation against the lure of nothing.
but as people approached, my warnings became but a voice of judgment rather than concern. every craving vagabond that came near had that same desire in their black eyes. like blood-thirsty zombies they would pass as if i were nothing but a mist in the air: the cry heard and the next, silence. nobody would heed my warning. was my desire not as strong as theirs? whatever it was, my voice became nothing but a voice in the desert.
i would stand outside the mouth of the cave, my shadow long and high upon the rock behind me. the sun beat down upon my brow. beads of sweat slid off my face onto the cracked floor and as the sun rose higher my shadow grew longer and my voice resembled the ground upon which i stood. my legs began to grow weary day after day. i found myself no longer standing but resting nearby upon a stump cut off from its family. the days grew strange.
sometimes i would venture into the cave a few feet, lying to myself thinking that i had heard someone speak. but there was no one. they were deep inside. it was the darkness that drew me. the relief from the sun. on the outside i have always declared my allegiance to keep the caves empty. but within my declaration lay my true sense of intrigue and desire. i could not take it much longer.
there is an ancient myth that says that deep within the caves lies a danger that will tear you to pieces. this myth is given not only to invoke fear but a sense of reason within people. but i have never really found reason worth reasoning with. so one day, i lay my torch upon the weathered ground and head deep within the caves.
posted by jon havens
Saturday, October 14, 2006
the hall and the armor
since halloween is in a couple of weeks i thought i'd write a story for the occasion... enjoy!
cole's eyes watered for the very last time as his sad pupils dilated with fear. like two small black planets orbiting a grotesque sun, and losing hope with each slow spin. information voyaging from one part of cole's helpless body to the other gradually slowed. weeks to breathe in, months to exhale, years to blink. the black planets still spinning slowly, still watering. one telephone pole and a black and white sky were all cole was able to see, from his prone position. two steel-blue figures stood upon the wire and laughed horribly at him from their perch. the black planets slowly focused; they were crows. "oh god," cole thought, "how i wish i would have spent more time outside, watching birds, breathing air... living." cole let his eyes unfocus once more, for now it was too hard to focus on any one thing. "you still awake?" said dezzy. "i thought one would be enough, no matter." she plunged another needle into his arm, deep beneath the waves of his skin, and let the submarine release its toxic torpedos into cole's blood. dezzy went blurry and spoke deep. "my guests will be arriving shortly and i cant have them seeing you like this, you understand dont you?" cole's mouth hung open, slightly, and remained that way, and still remains that way. he was just able to gaze down at his lower torso and to his suprise, it was gone. covering it now, was heavy armor, cold and not at all human. dezzy worked silently and then, suddenly she was finished and all cole could see was a sunless landscape, inches from his face. she stood the armor up with great effort and now cole was rigidly upright. dezzy lit a cigarette and smiled sourly at the work before her. the black planets spun slowly, watered, and then stopped. dezzy giggled as the door bell rang. "that must be my guests, cole my dear, you wait here and i shall return soon." she showed her guests around the enormous house, through the marble entrance, and the long velvet hallways strewn with tapestries and then through the dining area. one of her guests stopped, "oh what a lovely suit of armor, my dear, where did you get it?" "oh this, well i sorta collect them, there all over the house you'll see," dezzy replied. dragging quietly on her cigarette, she led her guests on, through the house as their wickedly thick laughter echoed across the long line of armor, decorating each hallway. the sad, black planets stopped spinning and the grotesque sun sank lower still, and cole's mouth hung open, slightly... cold.
posted by drew carlascio
cole's eyes watered for the very last time as his sad pupils dilated with fear. like two small black planets orbiting a grotesque sun, and losing hope with each slow spin. information voyaging from one part of cole's helpless body to the other gradually slowed. weeks to breathe in, months to exhale, years to blink. the black planets still spinning slowly, still watering. one telephone pole and a black and white sky were all cole was able to see, from his prone position. two steel-blue figures stood upon the wire and laughed horribly at him from their perch. the black planets slowly focused; they were crows. "oh god," cole thought, "how i wish i would have spent more time outside, watching birds, breathing air... living." cole let his eyes unfocus once more, for now it was too hard to focus on any one thing. "you still awake?" said dezzy. "i thought one would be enough, no matter." she plunged another needle into his arm, deep beneath the waves of his skin, and let the submarine release its toxic torpedos into cole's blood. dezzy went blurry and spoke deep. "my guests will be arriving shortly and i cant have them seeing you like this, you understand dont you?" cole's mouth hung open, slightly, and remained that way, and still remains that way. he was just able to gaze down at his lower torso and to his suprise, it was gone. covering it now, was heavy armor, cold and not at all human. dezzy worked silently and then, suddenly she was finished and all cole could see was a sunless landscape, inches from his face. she stood the armor up with great effort and now cole was rigidly upright. dezzy lit a cigarette and smiled sourly at the work before her. the black planets spun slowly, watered, and then stopped. dezzy giggled as the door bell rang. "that must be my guests, cole my dear, you wait here and i shall return soon." she showed her guests around the enormous house, through the marble entrance, and the long velvet hallways strewn with tapestries and then through the dining area. one of her guests stopped, "oh what a lovely suit of armor, my dear, where did you get it?" "oh this, well i sorta collect them, there all over the house you'll see," dezzy replied. dragging quietly on her cigarette, she led her guests on, through the house as their wickedly thick laughter echoed across the long line of armor, decorating each hallway. the sad, black planets stopped spinning and the grotesque sun sank lower still, and cole's mouth hung open, slightly... cold.
posted by drew carlascio
Monday, October 02, 2006
the clap and blast
...and the frenzy followed us through the iron gates of mahattan, through the barrage, the discharge of silent gunfire. and every amateure, every bastard child, every phony, all those misbegotten, all those waxen in feature, stood aside. frozen by cold, blank by expression, while under every coattail we ran, and believe me, not a single trace nor crumb shall be found. to every charlatan we scream, keep thy trap shut, and oh how they scream right back. my ears ring, my neck the bell tower and my head the bell. the clap and blast humming through my blood, cooking its way to my heart to stun the soul. its only upon the close of each day, and the rise of a purple midnight, that we have time to heal. its only when we close our eyes that we begin to truely see. and the way you make me feel, like liquor on the tongue, on the senses. and oh the broth they brew, bubbling deep poison, like war gas to be thrown the way of their enemies. upon inhalation, a crippling effect. but once healed...once the purple of the night has been replaced with wonderful streaks of orange and fire, we will walk through the barrage again. and the frenzy followed us, and the silent gunfire shaped our steps. some unsure, some fearful, but...then...some resolute.
posted by drew carlascio
posted by drew carlascio
Sunday, October 01, 2006
october sun
as the leaves change in the october sun, florescent glimpses of other worlds swim into existence. worlds where images pass like floating melodies of some enchanting song. a song sung only by dreamers and visionaries who see daylight and music as from the same source. and as those leaves fall, those dreamers dance to a new rhythm. a rhythm of change. a syncopated song of expectation. a dance of preparation marking a new melody that will be sung by the romanticists of tommorrow. and as those leaves embrace the earth, the dreamers will quiet their celebration. their instruments of change will be laid aside as the crisp wind of winter flows through the stiff air. and all will be still. because soon the mountains will hide the october sun.
posted by jon havens
posted by jon havens
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