"the caves" part two

sorry, it's taken so long. i wish i could say that i've been working on this ever since but that would simply be a lie. here it is...

i must confess, the caves are comfortable. any sort of connection to the outside world became but a passing memory while the presence of isolation filled my chest. the air was not quite as fresh inside. its stale touch gave me the feeling that my lungs had a heartbeat of their own. as i breathed in, curiosity. as i exhaled, truth. but it’s comfortable. a nice change.

as i ventured deeper inside the growing addiction, my feet found water. but it was not a refreshing feel. this water felt old; as old as desire itself. the stillness of my reality was so different from the outside world. but it was a nice change. comfortable.

the sound of my feet splashing through the water brought a thought of adventure to my mind. despite the fact that hundreds had ventured this path before me, i felt i was treading on it anew, like a pioneer tracking across unknown territory. each step brought me further to some prize, some ecstasy of life. something inside me told me to turn back but that voice was silenced by the piercing scream of allure. so, i went on.

the cave began to get smaller and water colder. my feet grew numb and my knees weak. as i passed the narrowing walls, i could see a change in the cave. there were images on the walls; images of struggle but then conquest, passion and then fulfillment, dreams and then reality. people ran but never grew tired. they laughed and never grew weary. blood coursed through my veins and crashed into my heart forming a collision which sent a rush of adrenaline through my legs. the water now came up to my waist as i pressed on.

i had now been in the cave for hours. i could feel my mind swimming, searching, dreaming of more. the deeper i went, the more i longed for it. why did i declare my honor against this? what evil is in curiosity? what is light? what does a bird’s cry sound like? what of the feel of love? it all became but one desire and one passion…to experience all of the cave. every corner. every rock. every desire.

suddenly, without warning, something grabbed my leg and pulled me underwater. in the confusion terror struck me: the myth had now become truth. i struggled and fought with this creature and it begged for my life. its clawed hands dug into my flesh and tore my skin from its host. my head found air as i screamed out in immense pain. the creature had released its hold as i stumbled backwards into the cave wall. my torch was extinguished by water and my searching eyes found nothing but blackness. i could not see my predator but every part of me understood that it could see me.

i gasped and panted and writhed in anguish. blood was flowing from my side. all was still for but a moment. then, the sound of splashing water. it grew louder as the creature came near and grabbed my feet again. i screamed and tried to hold onto the side of the cave. but my strength was no match for my enemy. he ripped me from my only hope of rescue and dragged me underwater. upwards, i shot into the air as i was now being held from my neck, suspended in gravity. i could feel the creature’s hot breath upon my face and heard its demented breathing pattern. in its presence i felt the multitude of death. upon that very breath rested the lives of countless others who dared to venture into its domain. i gasped for air and it conceded as it threw me against the wall.

i awoke in what felt like years later but was probably only a few hours. i found myself lying upon a narrow precipice. how i got upon it i was not sure. my right eye was swollen shut and my feet were covered in blood. my hands showed signs of struggle; like a lone prisoner scratching the wall to hear some other noise besides his own heartbeat. a great piece of my side was missing. i was in shambles. i had not known where my enemy went off too but knew that it was important to depart immediately. slowly, like an elder rising from their slumber, i moved. every part of my body ached. i put pressure upon my feet but collapsed. they could not hold my weight. crawling would be my own way of escape.

my bloodied hands reached for rock after rock upon the ground. i moved slowly and gained some ground. foot by foot, meter by meter, i dragged my mangled flesh away from my disaster. i wept as i crawled. i wept for my cynicism. i wept for my selfishness. i wept for the countless others who went before me and did not make it out alive.

as i moved and time passed, my limbs became less rigid. like oil upon metal my arms eased up and strength returned to my legs. i stood and gazed at my hands in surprise. the wounds had disappeared. i sat upon a boulder and examined my feet. they too were healed. my side was as normal as ever. but my eye was still swollen shut. i dove into the water. as i held myself under, a tingling sensation shot over my face. these waters had healing powers. strange that the very waters which saw me ripped me to pieces brought mending life. as i rose from the water and the blurriness began to cease, i noticed something up ahead: light. the mouth of the cave was near.

i started to run but my legs lost their balance and i fell. i laughed as i lifted my head. but my laugh soon relinquished for i realized that i had not lost my balance, the ground had lost me. the entire cave was shaking and collapsing. i shot towards the light as fast as i could run. all around me rocks came crashing down. i groaned as i ran: not out of pain but out of the thought that i would be lost forever. the light grew bigger and smaller; bigger as i grew near but then smaller as the fallen rocks began to block the entrance. i reached the mouth, climbed upwards towards my last hope of life and dove out in the sunlight. the sound of the collapsing cave ended. i turned and no longer saw a cave. my time of terror had ended. a new day had begun.

posted by jon havens